Old patterns

Last night brought me to a strange area. It looked like a lot of homes I saw in skull valley. Modest houses on a larger property. However there was water behind the property. A lot of my circle of friends and acquaintances I have been in contact with here in Arizona were there. While the overall experience was peaceful there were a few things that caused concern.

I struggled to be able to use a bathroom, and this caused a great unease for me. Something so basic posed challenges. Everyone else was unaware that things were getting dangerous. They instead focused on getting back to the way things were. Falling into old ways that were not working before, and were improbable of being of use now. This did not dissuade them from doing them anyway. Plumbing issues plagued the home. Wood frame of the house rotting. Meanwhile the children were outside playing in the tall brown grasses. Adults who still behave like children were using faulty vehicles, including a small single engine plane. None was hurt, but I couldn’t ignore the state of everything. They new everything needed to be fixed, but no one made any effort to do so. It was like they were waiting for someone else to come in and make everything better. Help never came.

I start leaking blood and other waste out of my ass. I continue to fall apart internally regardless of the effort to change things. Everyone is blind to the obvious internal hemorrhaging that was taking place. I can’t find help. No doctors will help. I can’t cut myself open to make the repairs. As I feel lost I realize that nothing changes as long as everyone chooses to be indifferent about everything. I stand and stomp my left foot throwing my arms side and scream a primal scream. I look to the sky and see a cloud form over me. Rain starts to fall and wind blows hard. In front of me yet again is Odin. He asks me what is all the noise is about. I tell him that everyone is doing nothing to help themselves, and those like myself who are trying to change are unable to make forward momentum. He laughs and turns to look at everything before us. He tells me “that is what it’s like to be a shepherd among the sheep. No matter how hard you try, they’re just lambs. Beasts to serve a purpose of sacrifice for the higher being. They eat, shit, breed, and die. They never have an inkling of a thought outside there base instinct. You’re trying to turn a beast to something more, and all you’re doing is tearing yourself up trying to perform miracles. It’s best to sit back and let them do as they wish. “At best you can hope foe a lovely sweater or a meal, but a sheep isn’t a surgeon. It can’t because it’s incapable of the knowledge or the power to do so. Instead ease your mind and accept their fate. Stay warm with a warm wool blanket and feast on a great meal. In the end, that’s all you can do.”

I wake from my dream to find myself wondering why the allfather was so dismissive of everyone and everything. I thought he wanted me to make people see, but now he tells me they never will. Eventually others in the house wake up. My wife and father in law turn on the tv to check the election status. Still no answers but I knew that would be the case. I’ve predicted the outcome to this previously. I’ve predicted everything so far. What stood out was that with the polls swing blue, the red cry’s foul. The people start thinking that this new leader is going to make it all better, but realistically nothing will change. Everyone starts falling into the lulling whispers that things are going to change, but again it’s just a whisper. Change starts at home. I’ve said this so many times. There will be more violence. There will be more death. It’s perpetual. If a change is to happen you have to scrap the whole plan and build a new one from the ground up. Lay a strong foundation and strong framework. The inner workings must be constantly observed and maintained. With moving parts, any miscalculation can cause catastrophic problems, then we’re all in shit.

We know now our house is not in order. We know there are major problems that need to be fixed. Let’s not ignore them and continue to let ourselves bleed out. Diagnose and repair the immediate threats and work towards making healthier decisions. You can’t change some things overnight. Problems this seriously fucked up take a lot of time and constant supervision and care before we can heal these wounds.


Published by Snowy Owl

There was a lot more written here before. Then I saw it was irrelevant. I am just another person with an autoimmune disease and spectrum ”disorder” who is highly sensitive to their environment. I thought I would write a few things down, so here you go. Swim at your own risk!

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