Being sick is no fun. In no way does anyone ever say “this flu was such a wonderful experience.” It wears you down physically and emotionally. It’s especially hard for those who have to be guarded all the time. Not like inmates, but someone who needs to be vigilant all the time. That’s what it was like with me recently. It left me “carjacked” and I have no idea what was done or said.
Being someone who deals with other energy is hard. You always feel the need to be guarded. Shielding against emotional assault from others is something that is very important for empaths. Being a medium with that is even more work. It’s making sure you protect yourself but others as well. Last week after a long feverish day, I lost a stretch of time. When I get sick and tired I tend to still be cognizant of what’s going on around me. A was up from 1 am the previous night with a fever that stayed between 101 and 103 Fahrenheit until around 5pm. I remember it being around 6 pm and being bored so I grabbed my guitar. I started playing some dropkick Murphy’s songs. I felt strange and all of a sudden it’s 4 am and I’m waking up in my bed. I’m strapped into my CPAP machine and undressed under the comforter. I was beyond confused. I felt like I was hungover but I don’t recall having a drink. I wouldn’t have been drinking being as ill as I was. No more that a shot of whiskey to take an edge off to go to sleep. There’s no way I got blackout drunk, but it felt like I did.
I was dreaming of a past that was long gone by. In a fishing village off the sea. A bitter cold damp evening. Feeling loss of a child. That dream rang through my mind for a few days after. It triggered an emotional collapse I haven’t felt in a long time.
Later I got a message that appeared to be a reply to a group text, but the previous parts of the text were gone. It made me wonder what had I been up to? Was it me? I don’t believe it was. I’m certain that I was taken over for a short time by some spirit that was not mine. Someone who was looking for answers or some kind of order to their condition. Nobody seemed to notice I was not here. I have no idea what was said or done. It’s a scary feeling when you realize you’re not in control. I don’t want to worry friends to ask what I may or may not have said. Sure they may understand channeling a spirit, but would probably be concerned about the loss of memory or control. It’s already hard to try to explain why I don’t do large gatherings on magical events like drum circles etc. I sometimes channel things that don’t have limits or understanding of this forms rules. Sometimes it’s not a human spirit. I sometimes doubt it’s even terrestrial.
After a few days had gone by, I started feeling more myself. Whoever was using me as an air bnb left a residual feeling that had me feeling cold and wet for days. Soon I was back to my regular agitation and frustrated ball of boredom. I know going out for a walk in the woods would have brought me more comfort, but with being sick, the cold air does a number to my lungs. No idea if it is COVID but it’s had me coughing and unable to get a breath. So I stay in bed, drink my tea and rest. Hopefully nobody else decide to take a joy ride. I’ve taken precautions and set up some wards to help.