esti mortanto

This morning I again started yelling out what I thought was gibberish. I relate it to a Tourette’s kind of outburst. I have what is an uncontrolled physical tic, followed by a vocal outburst of vocal articulation. but instead of noises or just curse words it’s articulated words. None I understand. I started running an audio recorder to capture it.

So far we’ve figured out a few of them. Afrikaans, French/creole, Italian, Portuguese, Navajo/Diné, Dakota, Russian, Icelandic, Gaelic, and this morning was the first time I ever heard Esperanto as I was yelling it in the car. Repeatedly I kept yelling the phrase esti mortanto. I have a neurodivergent mind. I’ve been diagnosed with autistic spectrum disorder and have been a psychic medium all my life. Able to see and hear things others can’t all my life has caused me to be looked at as odd. My parents just said I was over dramatic with an active imagination, yet tell stories of me predicting unannounced visitors etc.

I honestly did not think Esperanto was a real thing. I heard on a movie the name Esperanto but thought it was some made up term. However, this does not explain the outburst of a language I didn’t even know existed escaping my lips. Then I realize that it’s what is the equalizer of all things.

Death comes for everything. One moments existence between eternities of non existence. Today I was reminded of that as my step father who passed away a few years back came to visit me. He took over the room. The random shuffle on my echo speaker became Murray’s playlist. The smells in the air became breakfast with him and my mother. I heard his horribly annoying laugh and it brought joy to my heart. I saw his face smiling at me with tears of joy rolling down his cheeks. He raised a bottle of Canadian and I heard the words “Put aside anger, sadness, fears. Life is short so drink your beers!” It was followed again by his laugh.

From birth we are dying. So in the time we have, we should truly live. We all die someday so why wait to truly live?

S.O.

Published by Snowy Owl

There was a lot more written here before. Then I saw it was irrelevant. I am just another person with an autoimmune disease and spectrum ”disorder” who is highly sensitive to their environment. I thought I would write a few things down, so here you go. Swim at your own risk!

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